May 10, 2009

Dear Quite Obviously Deaf Girl Who Lives Next Door,

(This particular letter is brought to you by who have had this particular problem and have allowed me to interpret their struggle in my own style. Enjoy!)

I have nothing against people with a hearing disability; that said, I would be a bit more forgiving of you if you actually had one. It appears, however, that you do have some difficulty in keeping your music at a reasonable level, or even wearing headphones. This in itself is somewhat forgivable, but the fact that you do this while I am either A) studying or B) trying to take a nap/go to bed for the night makes me want to punt a kitten. Or hit you in the face. Or break your speakers. Either/or.

So please, if you intend to continue interrupting my life in such an egregious manner, I suggest you do so at your own risk. Because we all know a heinous bitch just becomes that much more vicious when her sleep schedule and grades are at stake.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Heinous Bitch

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